How to Choose the Right Activity for Your Child

"Should I sign my child up for football or swimming?" "She likes everything — how do I choose?" "He doesn't want to go to any activity. Now what?"

If you've asked yourself any of these questions, you're not alone. Choosing the right extracurricular activity is one of the most common — and most confusing — decisions parents face. The options are endless, the advice is contradictory, and the fear of getting it wrong is real.

But here's the good news: there is no wrong choice. What exists is a choice that's more or less suitable for each child, at each moment. And this guide will help you make that choice with confidence.

Why Does Choosing Well Matter?

The right activity can transform a child's life. It can be the place where they discover a talent, make their best friend, or simply feel competent and happy.

On the other hand, a poorly chosen activity can:

Create resistance to all activities ("I hate activities")
Generate unnecessary stress and anxiety
Take up time that would be better spent in free play

The difference between a positive and negative experience rarely lies in the activity itself — it's in the fit between the activity and the child.

The 5 Factors to Consider

1. Age and Developmental Stage

Your child's age is the first filter. Not all activities are suitable for all ages:

3-4 years: The exploration phase

The goal is fun and exposure, not technique
Short sessions (30-45 minutes maximum)
Playful environment, no pressure
Good options: Creative dance, baby swimming, basic gymnastics, music and movement

5-6 years: The discovery phase

They can follow more complex instructions
They start developing clear preferences
Ready for activities with some structure
Good options: Football, ballet, martial arts, drama, art classes

7-9 years: The competence phase

Ability to practise and improve consciously
They enjoy challenges and goals
They start comparing themselves to peers
Good options: Team sports, music (instruments), dance, coding, languages

10-12 years: The identity phase

Activities become part of their identity ("I'm a swimmer")
They can train with more intensity and seriousness
Strong opinions about what they want to do
Good options: Specialisation in preferred sport or art, more advanced activities

2. Personality and Temperament

Every child is unique. Observe yours carefully:

The social, extroverted child:

Gains energy in groups
Loves competition and teamwork
May get bored in individual activities
Consider: Team sports, drama, group dance, scouts

The reserved, introverted child:

Prefers calmer, more predictable environments
May feel overwhelmed in large groups
Shines when given time to process and practise
Consider: Swimming, martial arts, music (individual instrument), visual arts

The high-energy child:

Needs constant movement
May struggle to sit still
Benefits from activities that channel energy
Consider: Football, athletics, capoeira, climbing, surfing

The creative, imaginative child:

Loves inventing stories and creating things
May prefer activities without rigid rules
Needs freedom to express themselves
Consider: Drama, visual arts, contemporary dance, music, creative writing

The perfectionist child:

Wants to get everything right the first time
May get frustrated easily
Benefits from activities that teach how to handle mistakes
Consider: Martial arts (belt progression), music, pottery, outdoor activities

3. The Child's Interests

It seems obvious, but it's frequently overlooked: ask your child what interests them.

Tips for discovering genuine interests:

Observe what they do in their free time (screens aside)
Note the topics that excite them most
Offer varied experiences and watch the reactions
Let them try before committing

Note: Children's interests change — and that's healthy. A child who loves ballet at 5 may want to try surfing at 8. Parental flexibility is key.

4. Family Logistics

Being realistic about logistics prevents a lot of frustration:

Location: Is the school or activity accessible? How long is the journey?
Schedule: Does it fit into the family routine without stress?
Cost: Is it within budget, including materials and equipment?
Parental commitment: Can you guarantee regular transport and attendance?

An excellent activity that's 45 minutes away and requires reorganising the entire family routine can quickly become a source of stress, not pleasure.

5. Quality of the Teacher/Coach

The teacher is often more important than the activity itself. A good teacher can transform any activity into an extraordinary experience. A bad teacher can ruin even the child's favourite activity.

Signs of a good children's teacher:

Adapts language and expectations to the age group
Encourages rather than criticises
Manages the group with firmness but without authoritarianism
Shows genuine enthusiasm for children
Communicates regularly with parents

Signs the Activity Is a Good Fit

How do you know you've made the right choice? Watch for these positive indicators:

Your child wants to go (most of the time — off days happen)
They talk about the activity at home with enthusiasm
They practise or reproduce what they learned outside class
They've made friends in the activity
They show progress over time
They leave class with positive energy (even if tired)

Signs It's Time for a Change

Not all resistance is a reason to quit — but there are clear signs that the activity isn't working:

Persistent resistance — If after 6-8 sessions, your child is still unhappy, it's time to reconsider
Anxiety before classes — Stomach aches, crying, regressive behaviour
Total loss of interest — Doesn't talk about the activity, doesn't practise, doesn't care
Constant conflicts — With the teacher, classmates, or with you about going
Negative impact — On school, sleep, or overall mood

Important: Quitting an activity is not failing. It's learning about oneself. Tell your child: "We tried and discovered this isn't for you. Let's find something you enjoy more."

How to Involve Your Child in the Decision

The child's participation in choosing is crucial for motivation. But how to do it appropriately for each age?

For children aged 3-5

At this age, parents largely decide, but can:

Offer two or three options ("would you like to try dance or swimming?")
Take the child to watch classes before signing up
Use books and videos to introduce different activities

For children aged 6-8

The child already has an opinion. Involve them more actively:

Ask directly what they'd like to try
Explain what each activity involves (time, commitment)
Agree on a trial period before committing

For children aged 9-12

The child should be the main decision-maker:

Present the available options (considering logistics and budget)
Discuss pros and cons together
Respect their choice, even if it's not your preference
Agree on clear rules (minimum attendance, commitment period)

The Trap of Wanting to Do Everything

Some parents fall into the temptation of signing their children up for multiple activities to "maximise development". But more isn't necessarily better:

How many activities are enough?

Age	Recommendation
3-5 years	1-2 activities per week
6-8 years	2-3 activities per week
9-12 years	2-4 activities per week (maximum)

Remember: Children also need time to:

Play freely (essential for development)
Rest and do nothing (that's important too)
Do homework without rushing
Spend time with family
Simply be children

A Practical Exercise

Before deciding, try this simple exercise:

List 3 qualities you'd like to develop in your child (e.g. confidence, discipline, creativity)
Ask your child what they enjoy doing most in their free time
Consider the logistics — what's realistic for your family
Research 3 options that cross-reference the above points
Schedule trial classes for the 3 options
Decide together which is the favourite

This simple process eliminates a lot of indecision and ensures the choice is informed and shared.

Find the Perfect Activity

On KidsToGo, we've gathered hundreds of activities for children in Lisbon. You can filter by:

Your child's age
Type of activity
Area of Lisbon
Price

Finding the right activity has never been easier.

Explore activities on KidsToGo

The perfect activity for your child exists — and it's closer than you think. The first step is to start looking.